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im back, i haven’t made any of these blogs coz nothing happened that’s worth mentioning until now…

so ty in advance for spending time,

GBY

maRu

tHe diFFereNce fRom a reBeLLioUs sOn/daUghther and gOOd oNes…

this is gonna be an interesting stuff to write about, so stay with me…

if you’ve read my last post about how hard pleasing our parents/relatives/friends can be, this is a bit of its continuation…

why do parents, relatives, and sometimes friends always complain of the way we act? why do they complain of how we present ourselves, how we handle situations, how we help out at home? how we dress, even down to our haircut…

why do you think we want to spend most of our time going out? spending time watching movies, goin out with friends, clubbing, or even drinking away? why do we smoke/drink? why are we lazy at times? why do we fight back when they’ll yell at us? why do some of us smoke pot or do drugs?

ALL THEY SEE IN US ARE THE BAD THINGS, BAD TRAITS, BAD BEHAVIOR.. that’s all that they’re able to notice… how cruel is that?

the f**ked up thing is that THEY ALWAYS THINK THAT IT’S OUR FAULT… always…

i mean when will they ever admit their own shortcomings? when will they admit that they do have their own bad traits, their own wrongs? another f**ked up thing is that they dont admit thet they’re wrong… they just won’t give up that they’re always right when there’s something wrong that they did…

why do we become rebellious? hear me out… these are the things we want to tell our parents/relatives even friends that we just couldn’t tell them…

we become rebellious because mom and dad didnt go to my soccer game yesterday, because dad forgot that he promised me to go to the movies, because when mom gets home only thing she does is to eat and go to bed. 

those are the simple things…how about these?

we become rebellious because in our recognition day at school, where all the students who have awards bring their parents to school coz its the parents who would pin the awards to their kids, just when you felt good telling them that you have three awards to be pinned to you, and just when they said they’ll come… they didn’t… what happens is that when your name is called and your parents are asked to go to the stage, you realize that they’re not there, suddenly the pleasant feeling that you’ve anticipated for that day turns to your most horrible nightmare… and because you’re the only student whom his parents didn’t arrive, how would you feel? pretty f**ked-up i presume… well we don’t have the same stories.. maybe for you it’s a totally different story, but the same crazy bad memory that’s imprinted in you that you always remember when you that person who turned you down…

let me ask you this, what if, this thing didn’t happen just ones? what if it happened twice? thrice? how devastated would you feel? i think it would feel like sayin "sorry" doesnt even make a difference… they have failed you so many times you just couldnt trust them anymore… and it gets even crazier, they didn’t even apologize for it… not a word, didn’t even brought the story up to be discussed… frustatin isnt it? tsk tsk… these are the people who think they always have reason why they couldn’t do what they’re supposed to do… they always have excuses… they dont have time…

so, if they don’t have time for you/for us, why did they ever had us for a son/daughter/friend? right? dang…

it all goes down to family ties… it’s not a question of who you are now, but its a question of how you were raised… its a question of the foundation they layed out for you to stand on… it’s a question of were they there for you when you needed them the most… and im not speakin of when we were like 2 months old coz of course they were there… what i mean is, at the time when you are most vulnerable to damage/anxiety,its the time when you already have the mind to think and realize things and remember them, were they there for you? were they good parents/relatives/friends?

for me, that’s the difference from rebellious kids and good kids… i mean you dont expect your kids to be a smart kid when you’re not even teaching them, you don’t expect your kids to be respectful to you when you yourself don’t respect them…DON’T MAKE PROMISES THAT YOU COULDN’T KEEP, you dont expect your kids to be in the behavior you want to when in the first you werent there to teach them how to… don’t even send your kids in a private expensive catholic school when you don’t even have time to attend to important school activities to support your kids… its not because you put them in a good expensive school that you’ll expect them to be good and grow with a good foundation… it all comes down to family ties… were they there for you… i hope im makin sense here…

hear me out, to those of you who relates in this story… if they weren’t there for you, if they were bad parents/relatives/friends DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO DO THE SAME… it doesn’t mean that you’re bound to be the same as they are… you have a choice… SCREW THEM… go out there and do the best you can… be there for your family… FAMILY COMES FIRST… 

it ends here… thank you so much for your time, and i’d appreciate you comments… =) thank you and God bless you…. =)

maRu 

why aren’t we good enough for them?

who? our parents… our relatives… our friends…

here’s the thing… we have done everything they’ve asked for… we went to school, tried to stay out of trouble, took the course some of us didn’t even want… and yet… we’re still not good enough for them…

we tried our best and nothing’s happened… and until now we’re still trying to please them…

here’s what i’ve learned so far in my life… i’ve spent my whole life trying to please these people… trying to be the person they want me to be and doing what they want me to do… did well in school, got a few awards, struggled to be in the dean’s list even if it’s a one time thing, i’ve tried…but im still short of what they want… why do you think is that? it’s because no matter how hard you try… how hard you explain things to them… they would still think you’re not good enough for them, they just wouldn’t understand what we really feel and wont always accept your excuses or your explanations…

IF YOU’RE FEELING ME CONTINUE READING, IF YOU THINK THAT IM NUTS THEN IM SORRY TO HAVE WASTED YOUR TIME BUT THANKS FOR VISITING =)

so what do you think is wrong about us? why do we always fall short of what they’re expecting of us? here’s a simple but mind-bending answer to that…

there’s nothing wrong with us… they just have so many regrets in their lives that they could have done but they havent… so what happens is that they would want us to have what they wish they could have had… you feelin me? makes sense right? that’s the reason why they keep on telling us what to do… how to do it… it kinda makes us feel like we’re stupid coz we’re always told what to do… that’s why if you make mistakes, they’ll give you the look in their eyes saying "see, i told you so, if only you took my advise, mas marunong ka pa sakin, papunta ka palang pabalik na ako, marami ka pang kakainin na bigas" sucks doesn’t it?… lucky for me, i didn’t care…

so here’s my advise to those of you who relates in this story of mine…

it doesn’t matter what they want, coz you know why? coz they will never get satisfied…they will always have more expectations… they have so many regrets in their lives that the only things they think about are their shoulda woulda coulda’s and what if’s…

what you do is this, you have tried what they want, what you do know is to try what YOU want, want YOU want may not always please them but it will save you from being the person you’re not (the person they want you to be), dont spend the rest of your life pleasing them, coz if you do,when you grow up you will have your own shoulda woulda coulda’s… it’s a cycle… BREAK IT… whoever those people are, you’re not destined to be like them… you have your own choice…

what ever they think about you… you know yourself better than they do, you know your own weaknesses and shortcomings, you don’t have to explain it to them, you owe it to yourself… prove them wrong and show you can be successful regardless of what they think….

thank you for your time, i’d appreciate your comments =) just had nothin to do so i made one of  these… =) just to shake up our frontal lobe and think about the things that matter…

i just realized that the last time i was required to do a thing… was when we we’re still in school… the last thing i did was the last few things about requirements and reviewin…

i thought about it, and i think im enjoying doing nothing!!! i mean we deserve it right? =) i mean really? FOURTEEN YRS in school since elementary!!! and the only breaks we had are the christmas and summer breaks!!! this time… my break is from the exam until now… =)

Im loving it, doin nothing, resting, sitting around doing nothing important aside from the house chores…hehehe… watching tv… watching the movies ive missed… hehehe

common guys…loosen up… enjoy this break… coz u know why? once we have a job, THE ONLY BREAK YOU’LL GET IS THE MANDATORY 2 DAYS BREAK IN A WEEK!!!! i mean,can you believe that shit? workin 5 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year… IMAGINE NOT HAVING A BREAK FOR MORE THAN 2 DAYS?!?! unless ur a girl and get pregnant, you’ll actually get a leave…

IM LOVIN IT… my first long break of my life!!! you should enjoy it too…

its ironic that since i got here, ive been lookin for a job… nobody seem to want me… BWAHAHAHA… glad they havent called for an interview yet…

well, some of us cannot afford to waste time… some would want to work immediatelyto pay off debts… ako rin… marami utang sa kamaganak… but someday you’ll realize… its not the money… its about enjoyin your life… not just workin all the time, studyin all the time… but takin time to realize things, taking time to rest… a long rest…

so please, enjoy it while you still can, coz when you get a job… u only get 2 days in week and sometimes you even do overtimes… tsk tsk… =)

been here for two months stayin home, watchin tv, going to the library to get some dvd’s and goin back for some more, eatin, sleepin, and waiting for the next netflix mail of a smallville dvds, hehehe, am tired of waitin actually… am waitin for some calls in a hospital and a department store… what’s takin them so long? somethin tells me its a case of caucasians, africanamericans, asians, indians, filipinos goin on… hope not…

buti pa kayong may mga trabaho na, its boring just to stay at home doin nothin but waitin… nothin to do but the same routine for the last two months and to scribble a pathethic blog just to kill time, hehehe…

meron bang gustong kapenpal diyan,hehe… nababaliw na ko… =)

anyways,sorry sa walang kwentang blog na pinagsayangan mo ng oras… =)

i heard about the news, all i can say bout this freakin’ board exam…

ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME…

ever since review came, we all busted our a**es in them books, we’ve been studyin hard, all of us made sacrifices… ALL OF US…

i tell you now DONT LET THEM GET INTO YOU… we know ourselves better than the d*mn prc and gma, we know ourselves better… i personally dont give a sh*t if i failed that exam coz i know myself better than they do and i know that i passed that exam, YOU SHOULD FEEL THE SAME AS I… guys, we didnt cheat on that exam, we studied hard… THE THING IS WE’RE NO. 6 AND WE DIDNT CHEAT… whoever is responsible for that leakage i dont care anymore… what’s important is that we passed the exam no matter what the outcome… they may try to take it  away from us but we’ve already passed… i know all of you guys are goin berserk now but to hell with them, to hell with those responsible of the leakage, hell with them who got us into this mess thinkin that we dint have anythin to do with this leakage… dont worry guys,God knows… He knows we dint cheat and we deserve to pass… thats all that matters right now… guys, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND…and karma awaits those who deserve punishment… i hate it when its out of my hands, i hate it when i cant do anythin about it, we all hate it when we cant do anythin… but no matter what happens… im proud… im proud for being a part of you guys… im proud of you guys, and i mean it from the bottom of my hypothalamus… it broke me when i failed this exam but you guys gave them a good fight, we’re no. 6,that’s all that matters, im deeply sorry for the events that’s happenin right now, coz all of our hard work are taken for granted, our time is wasted, and our victory was stripped from us like taking a lollipop from a kid…

hope i was there, hope i can do somethin about it…

i love you guys…

i never thought why blogging is important for some people, i thought maybe its for fun or getting attention or somethin, but it came to me, hey…its for verbalization dude,  its what keeps my friends from keeping in touch with me from time to time… so what the heck lets do this…

been here for about a month and a half and i already miss the phils. this past month ive processed all my legal stuffs (ssno.,driver’s license,etc,ty to my uncle) and its been quite a ride… going back and forth coz people in this place does it this way and people from 50miles north does it another way…

then it hit me, is it me or they’re just givin me a hard time? coz when i took my exam for my driver’s license and passed, i didnt need to take a road test coz i already got a license from phils. and technically if i have one i wouldn’t need the road test… but the officer being skeptical and all that wasn’t convinced that my license from the phils is GENUINE… (what the!!!)

dang! so there we were, travelled upnorth in another branch of DMV and got approved…

even, my social security was a problem, coz the staff doesn’t even know what A-1 means (means a temporary resident status valid 1yr upon arrival in the US), they wouldnt want to give me a ssno. coz my visa expired blah blah blah when my A-1 clearly states that my presence in the US is legal… we even had to talk to the supervisor to have things straightened out… (unlike saatin na kahit receptionist ka lng sa LTO/City Hall alam na lahat ang gagawin)

i dont know if its just me or there’s somethin caucasian,african-american, asian,chinese,filipino goin on around here (if you know what i mean…)anyways,i dont know yet if there is, but people have been nice so far around our neighborhood…just to give you guys a heads up when your going here, dont get paranoid, let them be if they give you a stare…

so much for my first post… thanks for dropping by… i miss you all…