Hope: A Dangerous Thing
how’s hope a dangerous thing? i’ll tell you why…
it’s been a crazy week, so crazy i’ve had enough action and drama for november, craziest week, craziest few months of my life probably, but ill make up for it tonight and tomorrow night, relax, drink, and clear my head…
the crazy week started with a hope, a hope that it’ll be a fun few days ahead, a hope that somehow gives the anticipation of happiness and endorphins running through your veins, a hope that says everything will be alright… hoping all those "feeling" would really happen, that it will surely be a fun few days ahead, you lose your guard, you lose yourself, the usual things you do in an ordinary day suddenly disappears, coz in ordinary days you concentrate, you think twice or thrice so you wouldn’t get into trouble, suddenly you’re not able to do that and that where things got ugly… suddenly you’re careless, why? coz you had a feeling it’ll be a nice a day, you’ve hoped for it, and now you’re anticipating the nice day is happening, and with that, hope becomes a dangerous thing… from there the day you hoped that would go right and lovely, BOOOM, it backfires and pops you in your face…
hope is defined as a desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment…
it is an expectation of fulfillment, expectation of success… that’s where it becomes dangerous, when you expect to win, it’s like counting chickens before they hatch, don’t you ever count your chickens before they hatch, coz you will never be sure if they hatch in the first place or if they hatch at all…
i hope i’ve learned from my mistake, hoping for things to happen, hoping for miracles to happen, i have to be the miracle and it’s me that has to make it happen and not just hope for it to happen…
i’ve never hoped that i’ll find someone here since i got here july last year, i simply didn’t care, didn’t mind im single, not interested all in all… but a few months ago i met someone, cute little funny thing… made me curious, and furious… there i was, no idea who she was… it was the first time i hoped… i hoped to know who she is, what is she about, hoped to get to know her and vice versa… sometimes it would feel so close and yet so far… sometimes you would know who she is, the next minute you’d wonder who your talking to… it’s crazy, you can’t think straight, you don’t know what’s going on, basically nothing’s going on but because your hoping, you feel like there’s somethin going on when there’s really nothing(i hope you get my drift)… then suddenly hope sucks… you hoped and hoped and hoped not realizing your gonna fail 99 to 1, you’ll lose 99% of the time… your hoping to win with an odds of 99% against you… moral is, don’t count your chickens before they hatch… moral is hope can be dangerous…
don’t get me wrong, hoping is not wrong it’s just dangerous, you wouldn’t know that the odds against you might be 99 to 1, meaning out of a hundred times you get in a particular situation you will only win once, and lose 99 out of that 100 times, you wouldn’t know your odds…
its not wrong to hope, coz there are things you can do to make what your hoping for happen, how? YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN AND NOT JUST HOPE FOR IT TO HAPPEN… twick the circumtances… work for it, TRY… and TRY SOME MORE…
i dont know what my odds are, coz frankly im afraid to ask, i have a horrible fear of being rejected and i admit it, couldn’t take it… but im still blessed, i think, that i had a chance to twick the circumstances, i had the chance to know that person, that cute little funny thing… maybe my odds are 99 to 1 against me… but still i had the chance to know the person, all that matters, able to know what the person’s all about… i hoped but i ruined it… and i feel like a schmuck for it coz quite literally i ruined it, not just that particular day but everything…
it’s thanksgiving day by the way, and it’s one of the things im thankful for, the chance, that i ruined, but i still had that chance and im thankful for it… it’s nice that i had that chance, it’s nice that i had a reason to hope even if im 99 to 1 against… it’s good to have that feeling that im able to hope even if it meant i had a chance of only 1 out of a 100…it was nice that i had something to look forward to, something to achieve, to fight for, a motivation, something i’ve never had for a long time… that chance gave me this kind of motivation… very thankful for it… only thing is, i hoped for it to happen not realizing that i can make it happen and not just hope for it to happen, i ruined it, but still my thanks coz i had the chance to make it happen or at least try…
only thing left to do, is not just hope, but to make it happen the next time a chance like that appears…
and now, let’s drink, party, celebrate that chance… made me feel me i had something to forward to… thank you…
let’s party!
thanks for spending time and for the patience of finishing it…
GBY
maRu
