im sorry papa, i love you
Pa,
everytime i remember you i cry, everytime i realize i’ve done nothing to help you i breakdown, i’ve failed on my own accord, ive done nothing but to sit my sorry ass at home and wait for nothin, wait for a miracle knowing that miracles happen only when you do something about it and be the miracle…
im so sorry papa, i love you, im sorry that i didnt visit you even if i had all the chances, im sorry we didnt have the chance to talk often, im sorry not to have shared my life with you… if i can turn back time i would, ill tell you everything about me, ill tell you all about my school, my awards, my dancing, my classmates, ill tell you all about the two most amazing people mae and razel,ill tell you all about bruce,shobe, nico and tati, ill tell you all about the times when nico and i played basketball in dapitan complex, ill tell you how pretty tati has grown, ill tell you how atenikka and i look after each other…
if i can just turn back time ill make up for everything i missed in both our lives, i want to be part of your life, not just a mere memory of your last hours…im sorry to have abandoned you…
everytime i remember you i cry, i cry coz i allowed it to happen, im so busy with my life, ive been selfish, i hope i just spent more time with you… ive realized how we are alike, we’re both sensitive, both emotional, we’re both weak, but we’re also both strong at the same time and ill prove it to you someday, ill make up for the time we havent shared our lives, someday i’ll visit you in tabuk and show you what i’ve become, and if ill be blessed with kids ill bring them and tell them how we both look alike…
i could have said this in front of your face, only i couldnt, now that your gone all i have is your memory, and ill hold on to that memory, ill remember how we were, though we are oblivious to one another, though i knew little about you, though we are strangers to one another and though your gone,i havent felt closer to you ever in my life than now… please stay with me, and ill make up for all the time we missed,i want you to stay…
when i look at the mirror i see you behind my face, i see the same sensitive, emotional, weak person that ive seen in you, but i also see the strong person behind the weak one, and that person is me with you in me… that person is me only alot stronger because of you… when i look in the mirror i see us together in the same face…and as long as you stay home in that mirror you’ll stay safe,safe in my heart, and ill protect you, i love you so much and im sorry…
your memory is in me forever,i love you
your son,
maru
